I recognize the word forgiveness is quite triggering for a lot of people.
Between misguided definitions or understandings of the word and practice, times where we felt “forced” to forgive before we were ready, and other times in which we did not receive (and still have not) the apology we needed, the topic of forgiveness can feel loaded.
Despite its bad reputation, when put into practice, Forgiveness is a powerful healing tool.
My intuition teacher Brian Snyder of “Your Body Never Lies,” taught me a life changing definition and way of looking at forgiveness. He instilled in me the idea that forgiveness is giving up all hope of ever having a better past.
Forgiveness means giving up all hope of ever having a better past!
It does not mean condoning bad or cruel behavior, it does not make something wrong or right, it does not mean you have to talk to or see the person or people who have hurt you, and it certainly does not mean you are giving permission for the same unkindness or abuse to happen again.
Under this definition, forgiveness means letting go of the stories that fuel our hope for changing the past. It is coming to a point where we are tired of feeling tension and unwell, and can recognize we are worthy of peace, joy and freedom.
Non forgiveness is making a tight fist, and forgiveness is opening your palm. Non forgiveness is having poison inside of you and keeping it in, and forgiveness is the anecdote. Forgiveness is spitting out the poison.
Forgiveness is a true act of revolution, as it sets us intrapsychically free by being the vehicle through which we can release resentments and grievances, and leading us to live a more liberated life.
If forgiveness is sounding kind of cool by now, you may be asking yourself, “But how do you actually forgive?”
You see, for most people in the western world, we receive little to no education about forgiveness, and are not taught practices or rituals to put forgiveness into action. However, other cultures such as in indigenous Hawaiian culture, have been utilizing forgiveness as a tool for individual and collective healing for centuries.
Ho’oponopono mahalo nui loa.
Thank you. I love you. Please Forgive me. I forgive you. Bless you.
Hundreds of years ago, Tribal leaders and healers from various Hawaiian islands observed that if one or a few tribe members would “misbehave” or “deviate,” rather than shame or reject these individuals, they realized that these individuals needed support. They recognized that these “misbehaving” individuals were merely absorbing the collective guilt, because as a tribe, individuals were not doing their part to take care of their woundings and pain.
They realized that those individuals and all people, needed a way to make things right, “pono,” after having done wrong.
These wise elders and healers realized that the only way to mend these imbalances on a large scale was to create a practice individuals could use to help heal their part of the collective wound. From this awareness, came the Ho’oponopono prayer.
Ho’oponopono is a powerful ancient Hawaiian prayer and forgiveness practice that has brought about large scale healing throughout time, and has been a miracle worker in my life.
Following the uncoupling from my ex-husband, I was feeling afraid, insecure, and resentful. During what has proved to be one of the most painful experiences of my lifetime, the Ho’oponopono practice came to me as an answer to my prayers to let go of my resentment and pain, heal issues around self worth, and to move forward feeling liberated.
If part of you is still feeling skeptical about the benefits of forgiveness, it may help you to know that there is empirically reviewed research that indicates that practicing Ho’oponopono can heal hypertension, chronic depression, and bring psychological healing by invoking empathy and remorse in known violent criminals facing the death sentence.
Practicing Ho’oponopono
This practice can be spoken or sung out loud or inside of oneself. This prayer can be accessed by sending variations of the intentions to ourselves, others, the world, Spirit, situations, places, even past lives, and more.
You start where you are ready, and you stay there until you are ready to move on. Remember to forgive yourself wherever you are in your process.
